Soooo cruel that I just can't pop over to New York to check Malin Landaeus Vintage I've just read about in the latest New Yorker and it sounded fantastic. Apparently Malin "arranges her fabulous old clothes by theme, changing them every few weeks as if she were the curator of an art show. Recently you could have sorted through fisherman knit sweaters and plaids in the "She Visits Her Boyfriend at Brown" collection."
What really caught my attention was the description of a wedding dress by Michael Calloway who sews out of old fabrics. It was "concocted of bridal veils from the 40's and can be worn with the high neck in the front for the ceremony and then reversed for a more cleavagey look for the debauched party that follows". Sadly I couldn't find a picture of twhat sounds like a divine creation. If you're in New York sometime please check it out for me and report back! There are some of his wedding dresses here  however.
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Did such a gorgeous wedding ceremony yesterday evening at Honeymoon Bay. .
One of my favourite beaches, it  was a million dollar setting and an atmosphere money just couldn't buy. Just the couple and four close friends, as they wanted something very simple and relaxed. Everyone was camping there overnight - you have to honeymoon at Honeymoon Bay I guess - and the friends had arrived early and transformed one of the picnic areas into a gorgeous bridal bower complete with dangling silver hearts and solar powered lanterns. We had the ceremony on the beach and we had it all to ourselves. Afterwards they were having a barbecue up in the bower. It was such a lovely ceremony particularly the vows which they wrote themselves:
Ben, I promise to love you with all my heart mind & strength. I am very grateful & blessed that we have each other & created the family we have today. I will trust you with my dreams & support you in fulfilling your dreams. Together we will have a life of love, laughter & friendship .
Lisa, I promise to love and care for you, I will cherish every moment we share with each other. I thank you for the beautiful family we have created. You are my soul mate & I am blessed to have you in my life. I will love you forever.
Sometimes with small weddings it's hard to create a mood but not this time, everyone was so happy and relaxed and it was just perfect. 

I have a bit of a fondness for Australia's BIG things and the big trout at Adaminaby is one of my favourites  so imagine my excitement when I found this at the local history museum on a recent trip to the snow.
Picture number 2 is an exboyfriend of mine in front of the big spud at Robertson.
Kurt was Belgian, so I was showing him Australian culture.- he may have returned to Belgium shortly after this.

found this article in the Mercury and it's so sad and so sweet!

Seen some great wedding scenes lately. Two incredibly sad movies but with fantastic wedding scenes were Rachel Getting Married which apart from the family dramas (and what's a wedding without them?) had my dream wedding. More of a mini music festival with the groom even serenading the bride in the ceremony.
Another great wedding, made all the more joyous by the rather harrowing nature of the movie was The Kite Runner
I especially liked the couple gazing into the mirror and seeing their future.
On a totally uplifting level there's the latest Youtube sensation: Jill and Kevin's entrance to their wedding. Check it out! Don't know how the celebrant resisted joining in!

I abandoned Grey's Anatomy once Mad Men started showing on SBS, so hadn't been keeping up with the story lines. With Mad Men Season 1 over for now I thought I'd see what they were up to at Seattle Grace and it was a wedding!! I got a little annoyed with Derek when he chose Izzie's brain surgery over being on time for his wedding but it turned out to  be Izzie's wedding anyway. A few questions better not asked - like how come Merediths wedding dress fitted Izzie so well when they seem to be different sizes? and what about the guests?  - surely they were all Meredith and Derek's family and friends?? But that's quibbling, Izzie did look gorgeous and you can get your very own Kenneth Pool one-size-fits-all gown complete with crystal embroidery for US$7,250 and Alex's off-the-cuff vows were the stuff TV weddings are made of:

“Today’s the day my life begins. All my life I’ve been just me, just a smart mouthed kid. Today I become a man, today I become a husband, today I become accountable to someone other than myself, today I become accountable to you, to our future to all the possibilities our marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I’ll be ready, for anything, for everything, to take on life,  to take on love, to take on possibility and responsibility. Today, Izzie Stevens, our life begins and I for one can’t wait.”

You can check out the whole wedding here  (but grab a tissue first especially for when George walks her down the aisle!)

A weekend of wet weddings.Luckily the couples involved didn't let the bridal showers dampen their enthusiasm and there were really lovely moments in both of them. The first bride made her entrance with her dad rowing her up  Currarong creek and I think it was THE most beautiful entrance I've ever seen a bride make. When she alighted from the boat and lifted the skirt of her wedding dress she was wearing a pair of white gum boots to match. Most of the guests, many who'd  been crying, burst into laughter. Another really beautiful touch was the tiny bouquet of violets her grandfather had picked for her which she carried with her bouquet.
Couple number 2 had their rehearsal on Friday and the two very reluctant ring bearers and tantrum throwing flowergirl were transformed into a dream wedding party - so good they threated to steal the scene! - especially when the teeny little flowergirl got to the end of the aisle and locked her brother in an embrace.
Yes it was cold and it was wet and nothing was quite according to anyones vision of a dream wedding but it's those tiny touches of magic and humour that everyone will remember.

I've done quite a few weddings at Bannisters and it's always been one of those places I've been desperate to stay myself. It's a 60s/70s old style motel given a total revamp but keeping a bit of the retro vibe. The pool does look fabulous (never heard the expression "infinity pool" before but it makes sense) the views are amazing and  the cocktail bar is adjacent to both. I have heard great things about the restaurant too but the closest I've come to indulging was a glass (or was it two?) of wine while I waited for a couple who were running late for their rehearsal. Anyway, I was interested to see what the Sydney Morning Herald had to say:

Infinite appeal

Cocooned ... Bannisters lodge, restaurant and day spa provides luxurious time out by the sea.

Angie Schiavone spoils herself on the South Coast.

There's something about infinity pools that makes me swoon. The one at Bannisters is no exception and acts as a big drawcard when I'm planning a South Coast sojourn.

Of course, it's a little too cool for swimming when we arrive but I can't help myself.

It's fairly small and triangular, the rippling water appearing to join seamlessly with the huge Pacific Ocean beyond. The view is amazing enough on its own but the pool, framed by gums either side, makes it all the more dramatic.

Bannisters is a lodge, restaurant and day spa in sleepy beachside of Mollymook, the type of place people go to spoil themselves. Room names such as ocean deluxe, spa retreat and pinnacle penthouse are a clue this place is all about relaxation and luxury. Having said this, Bannisters does seem to pitch itself a fraction too high. Photographs on the website dazzle, showing everything polished and perfect. In reality, while still lovely, parts of Bannisters are looking slightly tired and little things (like low-quality toilet paper) seem out of place.

From the balcony of our room (an ocean deluxe, the least-expensive option), we see the ocean from a slightly different angle. A little higher up now, we watch the waves crash on the headland rocks below the noise quite loud but therapeutic and calming.

An hour before dinner, we head to the poolside bar and bistro to kill some time. There are cushion-strewn lounges and lots of private nooks, with candles and lanterns here and there. Staff are friendly and accommodating, while soft music and quietly conversing patrons allow the sound of the waves to filter through.

The restaurant soothes, too. In crisp whites, the room is divided by strips of sheer fabric. Again, service is efficient and smiling as impressive as leek and potato soup, poured from a jug at the table over a poached free-range egg. For main, jewfish fillet with saffron gnocchi is a conversation stopper (too busy eating), while green-apple sorbet served with apple parfait for dessert starts us talking again (compliments only).

Rain sets in as we leave the restaurant, so we're glad to be only a short saunter from our room and that we've kept our big red Bannisters umbrella close at hand. Earlier, we'd trawled through the massive DVD selection and selected the night's viewing. Too easy.

We wake early, hoping to catch sunrise over the Pacific. It's a little overcast but still the sky lights up, pastel pink and purple at first, with bright orange slowly taking over. Sun up and spectacle over, we head out to explore Mollymook Beach, a 10-minute walk. It's a lovely stretch of sand, marked only with a few lines of footprints and the odd bluebottle. We add our own prints up and down the shore, then head back to Bannisters for breakfast.

Included in the tariff, the breakfast buffet features pastries, good breads, juices, fresh fruit, T2 teas and coffee (you can also order a cooked breakfast but this isn't part of the tariff). We take a complimentary newspaper, load up our plates and head to a table on the veranda. The eucalypts sway as we graze and read.

By now it's almost time to check out and we haven't had a chance to put the Bannisters gym and pool table to use. We haven't visited the day spa, either, yet it doesn't seem to matter.

We check out without fuss and hit the road to explore the surrounding area: Milton's cafes and shops, the main strip of Ulladulla and up to the scenic Cupitt's Winery on Washburton Road. It's a gorgeous, chilled-out area and definitely worth a visit, come rain or shine.

Weekends Away are reviewed anonymously and paid for by Traveller.

VISITORS' BOOK

Bannisters

Address 191 Mitchell Parade, Mollymook.

The verdict Relaxation unavoidable.

Price From $290 a night, minimum two-night booking on Fridays and Saturdays.

Bookings Phone 44553044 or see www.bannisters.com.au.

Getting there A three-hour drive south of Sydney.

A HEAVY-SET young man slumps in his chair, looking bored and disengaged, as his wife ticks off a list of complaints about him. In particular he had forgotten a plan to go on a picnic, which was typical of his failure to listen to her.

As the wife whined on, the man's eyes shifted, as if searching for an escape route. But he was trapped in John Gottman's love lab, behind a one-way mirror, being filmed and recorded as part of a 30-year research project. The study has explored what most of us want to know: what distinguishes happy, lasting marriages from those that disintegrate into bitterness or loneliness.

Just over 10 years ago, Dr Gottman published some startling findings of longitudinal research that made him famous. After watching couples interact for a mere 15 minutes in the love lab, he could predict with about 90 per cent accuracy if they would divorce within six years. This week Dr Gottman and his wife and therapist partner, Julie, were in Sydney to run workshops organised by Relationships Australia. "Look for the repair attempt made by the husband and see if she rejects it," he tells the audience of 150 relationship counsellors as the miserable couple loomed into focus on a big screen. "Gottman is the guru of marriage research and counselling," says Anne Hollonds, chief executive of Relationships Australia. "It's like the Pope coming to Sydney."

The former mathematician and rabbi's son from Washington State was the first to apply hard science to the study of marriages, and more recently of gay and lesbian relationships. Some of his findings have been controversial. For example, he found a strong predictor of a happy marriage was a husband's willingness to compromise in marital disputes and accept his wife's influence. It was twisted to imply that only weak men could win in marriage.

But that has not stopped thousands of couples from subjecting themselves to a scientific assessment of their relationship in the love lab or in their homes.

As a couple bats a hard subject back and forth, staff monitor their expressions and body language. Electrodes attached to their bodies measure heart rates and other responses, like the tendency to jiggle with impatience.

Through statistical analysis, Dr Gottman has named what he calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that predict an ailing marriage: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt. And the worst of these is contempt.

"You know what it looks like," says Julie, "when you roll your eyes and curl the corner of your lip up. It's a very good indicator a couple will break up."

The couples headed for disaster evince too many of these negatives in dispute. But the masters of matrimony, as the Gottmans call long-term successes, evince a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every negative.

"In a good relationship, people do get angry, but in a very different way," Dr Gottman says. "The masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem."

They deal with conflict gently and are also more responsive to "sliding door moments" - bids by one partner for an emotional connection. It can be as simple as a husband drawing his wife's attention to the sunset. Does she look up or keep reading her book? Enough positive responses build emotional intimacy.

For the heavy-set man and his whiny wife, the prognosis did not look good. He had thrown out a "repair attempt" - "I'm not remembering things important to you and you're not remembering things important to me," he says. But alas his wife ploughed on with her litany of complaint.

"Every marriage is a mistake," Dr Gottman tells the audience. "The question is what you do with it."

The whole issue of asking for money instead of gifts does have to be handled with tact. If you've been together for a few years chances are you will have at least one of everything and after the expense of a wedding a discreet cheque can be very helpful. It also reduces the risk of receiving 4 identical coffee makers (which we did!)l. Of course there are cultures that embace the concept of cash as a present, pinning it to the brides skirt or proudly presenting fat envelopes but not us stitched up anglo saxons.  Some couples go down the wishing well route which is a polite alternative to a straight out request but obviously there are always going to be people offended that you don't seem to trust their judgement or who consider you a bit mercenary. Morally repugnant does seem a bit harsh tho!!

My friend Jan made this amazing Barbie cake for my wedding. She even fitted Ken out with a little kilt (in Anderson tartan of course) she whipped up out of a tartan napkin and made him a sporran as well - the outfit matched my husbands - tho that's probably where the resemblance to Tom and Ken ends. Jan  gave Barbie a black veil like mine too and as I wore black the cake had to be chocolate. It was perfection - and tasted just as great as it looked!
So I was very excited to see this life size Barbie cake Sweet Art in Paddington (have often pressed my nose against THAT window) made for Barbie's 50th  - it was pretty spectacular but not quite as special as mine.

I'm not usually a Neighbours Fan - I usually watch it when I'm visiting relatives in the UK as they'ere all fanatics - but I didn't do the usual channel switch at the end of the Simpsons this week as the fact that it was a wedding episode caught my interest. That it ended in tragedy can't have been a real surprise for regular viewers as I think the last time I saw it Toady was getting married and I seem to recall the bride being killed in a car accident? Anyway he seems to have moved on as he was best man for Libby and Dan. I probably paid more attention to the celebrant than any other viewer, I really liked what she was wearing. It's the kind of look I aim for. I always avoid bright colours, looking too much like "the celebrant" or even worse the mother of the bride. The mother of the bride in this partcular episode - Susan? - seemed to be displaying the kind of cleavage you usually only see on Desperate Housewives or the cover of Ralph magazine. I really liked the vows, the white hydrangea decorations were great and the way that the groom made the declaration: "Ladies and gentleman this is my wife!". I may steal that idea!! Shame about the bride collapsing in pain before the reception!! You can catch episode highlights - including the celebrants earrings - here!

Forget arriving in a horse-drawn carriage, perching on Posh'n'Becks-style thrones or releasing doves: the must-have accessory for a truly magical wedding is to have your rings delivered by owl.

Ollie the barn owl has been practising his swoop across the great hall of Peckforton castle in Cheshire, in preparation for delivering the rings for a number of weddings this year, including the marriage of Manchester United defender Wes Brown and his fiancee Leanne Wassell.

To have a ring-bearing owl land on the arm of the best man sounds like a risky strategy for your special day, but it is probably no dodgier than entrusting the rings to a bloke who is normally expected to give an embarrassing speech about how the groom was handcuffed and left naked in a brothel in Bulgaria.

Ollie's handler, falconer Mike Roberts, insists that the owl will not fly off with the jewellery and there is no need for guests to forego ostentatious millinery (although a bird's nest hat might not be a great idea). Roberts has taught the owl to respond to his whistle and land on a falconry glove held out by the best man while Roberts stands in the background and rewards the owl with a tasty snack. "Birds of prey don't come back for any affection. It's food they want," he says. "She knows that when I whistle, if she comes to the glove she'll get a reward."

Ollie's wedding banquet could be anything from day-old chick to rabbit, mouse or rat. The idea of an owl choking down dead rat as the newlyweds seal it with a kiss might be enough to make some brides or grooms nervous, but Roberts insists the guests won't notice. "Everything is tucked away in my hand quietly so they don't see or smell anything at all."

According to Roberts, falconers have long used birds of prey at their weddings. Their flight into mainstream weddings may be due to the charms of Hedwig, the snowy owl in Harry Potter.

Trends and charting provided by theWeddingReport.com
In 2009, we estimate the average wedding cost to be between $21,000 and $25,000.
Additional trends we expect:

• Smaller weddings with fewer guests
• Destination weddings or destination type weddings closer to home
• Accent colors on dresses and cakes with the most popular being greens and blues
• Increased reliance on family and friends to help plan, pay, and provide some of the services
• Increased use of green and echo friendly products and services
• Simplified decorations, centerpieces and wedding invitations
• Increased use of on-line RSVP's vs. traditional mail-in RSVPs
• Off-peak weddings; Mornings, Afternoons, Fridays, Sundays, October becomes the new June
• Buffet meals, Hors d'oeuvre, and cocktail receptions
• Cheesecakes, cupcakes and miniature cakes
• All-inclusive packages

Actually if I were a 16 year old girl living in caravan this is exactly the kind of wedding I'd want too! Obviously the man who wrote this article has never been a teenage girl or thinks we're all born with a sense of style or indeed sense!

What Daddy's little girl wants Daddy's little girl gets.
So when Missy Quinn insisted on a big white wedding with her boyfriend, her father said Yes. It didn't matter that she was only 16 and the groom 17.
Daddy also said Yes to a £16,000 wedding dress (which looked suspiciously like a crop top and skirt) and Yes to 150 guests at then the end, making Missy's wedding dreams come true cost her father - who lives in a caravan and surfaces driveways for a living - a whopping £100,000. reception. Then there were the cars, the hotels, the tiara and the £500 bouquet.

It was huge. I wanted to outdo everyone else's wedding dress,' she said.

'It was extremely heavy and just standing in the church was really difficult. But despite all that, I felt just like Cinderella.'

The bill was around five times the cost of the average British wedding.

Missy said: 'It cost a fortune, but I've always wanted a big wedding and my dad has been saving for ages to pay for it.' She met Thomas at Alton Towers theme park when she was 13

They continued to date despite her traveller family leaving their caravan park in Stoke-on-Trent every summer to tour the UK while Thomas lived with his parents in Wolverhampton.

Missy said: 'I just knew he was The One from the beginning. He's perfect.'

Her mother Theresa, 33, who married Missy's father at 16, said: 'I was surprised they wanted to get married so young in this day and age. But we could see they were madly in love.'

The couple married six days after Missy turned 16 at St Mary's Catholic Church in Congleton-Cheshire. After the ceremony-guests in feathers and crystals enjoyed champagne and an all-day buffet at the reception. Girls as young as nine showed off bikini tops, high heels and make-up.

Guest Victoria Docherty, 23, who wore a £700 hotpants and bra outfit, said: 'This isn't unusual - it's just what we do at weddings. It's all very extravagant. Everything is paid for by the bride's daddy.'

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Just back from a farmstay holiday. Not sure if real farmers have time to loll around reading old issues of WHO but that was a highlight for me. Even found a wedding special issue which featured this dress. Sadly no one got to eat it!

I'm just back from 2 weeks in the Philippines and one of my great finds - besides the designer Crocs store on Boracay Island  - was 2006 Filipino Weddings. Lot's of great articles which I'll  no doubt be sharing!

Long time between bridal blogs here. First I had the little Christmas break and then it was the post-Christmas proposal boom. Lots of wet wet wet weddings the last few weeks and it's always sad to watch someones dream beach wedding, -  which they've been planning for months but dreaming of for years - turn to mush. Yesterday's groom told me he was so sick of people assuring him that rain was good luck on your wedding day. A light shower in the morning clearing to brilliant blue skies as the guests arrive and the sun shining for the bride's entrance is what I call good luck. 

Despite being able to control everything but the weather, well maybe pageboys and the weather, the beach wedding is continuing to grow in popularity according to an article in yesterday's Sydney Morning Herald. If you are going to do the "i do's" at an altar, chances are it will be a Catholic altar. Marriages are also lasting longer with  an average of 12.6 years between the altar and the divorce court.

This photo captures a rare occasion where the Bride is definitely out-blinged by the Groom. It was in Saturday's Australian accompanying an article on Iran's declining birth rate. I'm not sure what exactly the picture had to do with the article - and the poor bride doesn't even rate a name except "his third wife" but it's a great 50's wedding shot!

The Shah does look pretty pleased with herself while the bride seems more concerned with her earrings! 

I was reading the Telegraph (and antique New Idea's - Britney was still happily married) at the local noodle shop on Friday and found this:

It must have been the big news story for the day as it was also featured on the ABC afternoon talkback. Apparently 70% of women getting marrried are opting to take their husbands name. I chose to keep mine, I'd had it for so long I couldn't imagine being called something else and thtere was the pile of paperwork attached to formally changing it. I sometimes use my husbands name - Anderson - but mostly out of convenience, you never get asked to spell it and you always have to spell McMaugh.

The "she" being Isabella Blow whose May funeral featured 6 bay horses, each with a plumage of ostritch feathers drawing a Victorian funeral carriage bedecked with white gardenias and surmounted by a black galleon hat - a Philip Treacy creation of course.

It was, according to this months Vanity Fair "the perfect dramatic exit for English fashion icon Isabella Blow."

Isabella certain understood the place of ritual in our lives. Her wedding had taken place in the setting 18 years earlier and - poignantly - her wedding page boys now acted as pallbearers.

 I achieved a long-term ambition this week. I was mentioned in the Weddings Feature page in the South Coast Register! Not as a bride - that would be exciting news especially for my husband, but  as an "officiant".

So many of my couples are from Sydney or Canberra they don't have the same interest in letting the Shoalhaven know about their wedding.

Christine and Jason were married on June 30th and, after weeks of winter chill and rain,  I truly believe the sun shone just for them that day! May it continue to do so!

Not so desperate housewife Eva Longaria is this week's celebrity bride.  A civil ceremony in Paris sounds relatively modest until you read on and it was conducted by the Mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoe and was actually just a prelude to a more full blown affair to be held later in the day followed by a "lavish feast for Hollywood friends at a 17th century chateau".

Mayor Delanoe said he was delighted to officiate "For me they are Eva and Tony, two very likeable young people who love each other and are enjoying an important moment in their lives".

You rarely see Eva's name appear without the word "dimunitive" somewhere nearby and I do wonder if it's not a reference to her choice of dress length.

We'll have to wait until OK! magazine comes out with full wedding coverage to see if Eva opted for full wedding coverage for the church ceremony.

Celebrants don't get away much in the summer. While we do get to spend a lot of time at the beach in summer it's mainly performing wedding ceremonies. So winter is the time I tend to be able to get away and since we live by the beach we prefer country living options.

Even then there's a work component as it's impossible to go anywhere without assessing it's potential for a ceremony.

We stayed at this really lovely little cottage outside Tilba recently. Cows - my son was thought they were mooses - (what is the plural for moose anyway?) mountains (Dromedary Mountain actually),

a lake, a fireplace and some lovely walks.  We had a ball - and yes, it would make a divine wedding setting!

My parents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. An impressive milestone, usually known as the "Golden Anniversary". My mother broke with tradition on this occasion though and gve my father a document shredder. Since he's been retired for about 20 years and his home office is really just a place for the grandchildren to play computer games, I was worried that he planned to use it on the marriage certificate. A friend pointed out that paper shredders are actually a "must have" item for the 70 set. Apparently they all live in fear of identity theft.

I can't even begin to think what this utter lack of romance says about their relationship, mainly because my husband gave me gardening tools for our anniversary this year!

It's always  nice when you see a familiar face in the social pages, somehow some of the glamour is bestowed on you merely by having known the person 15 years ago! Taking up nearly a whole page in Sunday's Herald was Eugenie's wedding. Eugenie Harvey (daughter of "much-loved television maestro" Geoff Harvey)  and I went to uni together.  

I'm not sure what classes we shared - perhaps it was the very popular "Sex, the Body & Writing"? -  I do remember Eugenie delivering an entire tutorial on Freud's theory of the "I.D" before someone pointed out that it was actually supposed to be "id". Most people would have wished for the floor to open up and swallow them,  Eugenie had us believing that she's discovered a lesser known theory of Freud's. A lot of Sunday morning was spent ringing other uni mates to discuss important details, she wore a "dusky pink satin gown", she  met the groom - who looks slightly older (but then don't we all?) in the UK,  the reception was a medieval feast reception at the family property in Berrima (property sounds sooo much better than backyard doesn't it?) and they honeymooned in Dubai, and yes she looked fantastic.

If Greg Evans isn't the celebrity celebrant for you perhaps John Waters is?

John was ordained Universal Life Church when Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder were planning to get married. Sadly that marriage never took place but John still performs the occasional marriage - at $7 per ceremony which I'm guessing is a lot less than Greg Evan's fee, though Greg may get more job satisfaction than John who says he heates going to weddings. You can read the entire full article at: http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2007/03/26/070326ta_talk_mead

Yes, Greg Evans has become a celebrant. A logical career move I guess and one which might put Elvis weddings out of favour. . He hasn't been registered yet and there is a 3 year waiting list but he could be worth waiting for. If you think there's no one you'd rather hear you say your "I dos" to you can contact Greg here: http://www.gregevans.com.au

Living together is no guarantee against divorce according to the Saturday's Herald. Apparently new research indicates that couples who don't live together before marriage have a better chance of avoiding divorce BUT it's more about the type of people who choose not to live together. People with strong religious or cultural beliefs who don't believe couples should live together may also be less open to divorce as a way out of a bad marriage. Sadly co-habitating is so commonplace today it's no longer called "living in sin" which gave it a bit of an air of glamour! Another article said that the latest trend and key for happiness is for couples to live apart as "part of the diversification of the way we live our intimate lives" and that one of the advantages was avoiding the domestication of a relationship because "you strip away that array of boring but potentially destructive problems so what is left are the things that are more meaningful".

Did Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar co-habitate? I guess they didn't need to, 7 days of wedding ceremony must have given them a lot of time to get to know each other. Sadly I was a little behind the times with this I do-fest mainly because I don't buy New Idea, I just hope the local cafe or hairdresser will have one. Liz's is sooo special New Idea are doing it in a two part special so I'm not up on the Bollywood one yet.

Some great quotes and a fantastic rationale re the multitude of frocks "Elizabeth wants to wear three outfits for this one. She won't be wearing a full-on wedding dress because she's worried it's not appropriate for someone her age (41), but the idea is to have different outfits for the morning, for the ceremony and the party." Glad to hear that the whole shebang was planned with age appropriateness in mind and there's no hint of mutton dressing up as anything other than Liz.  

When the party changed continents, there were dancing white horses, walkways lined with red chili peppers (not sure if that was the band or not)  and bride and groom circled a sacred fire as Hindu priests chanted in Sanskrit. The only thing I really wonder about was having a song from the Lion King as (one of their many) bridal waltzes. Apparently it's son Damian's favourite and may have been used as a bribe to get him into those white silk knickerbockers.

Found a great cookery book at Sallies today "The Hostess Cook Book". Published in 1952, the introduction says "Some people might mourn the good old days when women had plenty of help and were not expected to enter into activities outside the home. But not us, for we know that modern progress has given us advantages that once were never dreamed of. Admittedly today we are expected to act the part of wife, mother, cook and housewife, and in addition to entertain our friends and be the bright and gracious hostelss. But we have our ways and means...."

The book provides set menus for occasions such as The Business Woman's Cocktail Party (Toasted Sandwiches and Angels on Horseback), a Last Minute Luncheon (Tomato Cocktail and American Fruit and Cheese Salad) and Small-Flat Dinner Party for Four (Carrot Juice, Chicken Quickie and Ice Cream with Lemon Sauce).

There's also a wide range of suggestions for an at-home wedding breakfast:

Menu No 9 gets my vote:

(The Grapefruit Porcupines are grapefruits studded with toothpicks containing things like cocktail onions and cubed cheese. And I'm sure you could replace the Marmite with Vegemite)

Long blog break there! One of our newest Christmas toys was an ipod which we are supposed to share - though there does seem to be a lot of football-related podcasts on there which definitely aren't mine.  We're rather late to this bit of techno-whizz and probably haven't explored the full potential yet. One of the more popular podcasts is apparently Wedding Podcast Network (http://podcast.com/home.php) which is very Dr Phil - in fact as I type I'm listening to Dr Judith and Dr Jim are sharing a wealth of information such as why it should be "your day" and not "her day", the importance of setting up romantic playdates to see caterers, and suggesting you arrange for the bridesmaid to come up every half hour tap you on the shoulder and say "look around this is all for you".

Another wedding-related holiday link was Confetti  - a very low key mock-umentary with three couples competing for a new home and 500,000 pounds with the catchphrase "Not everyone wants their special day ruined by a cheap gimmick - but some do"  All they have to do is come up with the most original wedding concept . There's a nude wedding, a tennis-theme wedding and a Busby Berkely tribute. The nudists get my vote for bravery - that tandem bike can't have been comfortable! The wedding planners Hough & Heron "Your dreams are enough" are definite highlights. Possibly more entertaining than the movie is the websit - http://www.foxsearchlight.com/confetti/  which features nude trampolining , Dr Nez's DIY Facelift "Press the button and let's get cuttin'" and my favourite Hough and Heron's guide to planning your day, according to their online quiz my perfect wedding theme would be "Bride 'em cowboy" which I quite like the sound of and may use for a vow renewal sometime soon! (after a few romantic playdates of course!)

I've heard some really fantastic wedding music choices lately. Number one was Declan O'Rourkes Galileo, you can actually download it for free by clicking here. It's been on constant rewind since I heard it. The bride made such a stunning entrance to this song, it really captured the mood perfectly. Paul Weller is quoted as saying it's the song of the last 20 he wishes he’d written which is interesting as Paul's You're the Best Thing" was our choice for bridal waltz.

Another fab choice was I heard on Saturday was The Carpenters , We've Only Just Begun - you can see the whole clip on youtube by clicking here - I actually got a bit teary when it started wafting around and it was amazing the way a song suddenly transformed a suburban backyard into a really romantic setting.

Even sadder this ad from todays South Coast register -  

Finally got around to watching my tape of ABC's  Stepfather of the Bride. My personal review  is nowhere near as rave as the one that appeared in The Age, but for a Sunday-viewing-seen-on-Tuesday it was fun. The highlight for me was the closeup of the budget as the Bride tried to lever more money from her parents - $2000 for a celebrant! Either the parents - who  had been married 6 times between them and should know a thing or two about costs - or even the ABC research department, should have picked up on the fact that you could probably get 4 celebrants for that amount.  Not convinced that the bride looked $6000 worth of beautiful in that dress either. Even more unconvincing was Noni's  terrible treatment of husband William McInnes , while he never quite replaced Diver Dan   (cue for totally gratuitous use of picture of David Wenham)  in my affections he certainly wouldn't get the same treatment at my house.

Another wedding-related pleasure was the discarded New Idea in the coffee shop - I told myself I was going there to do some work - but pounced on the magazine as the Paul and Heather bustup was front page. Even more entertaining was the news ofKyle Sandiland's $100000 (is that enough noughts?) engagement ring he presented fiance Tamara . Apparently that's more than he spent on the Mercedes he gave her for her birthday. Tamara was initially a bit worried about Kyle's taste in bling, she needn't have been. "I love it",  she cooed," it's so big!".

Well according to the fashion pages in the Sunday paper anyway. This seemed like a very Mia Farrow wedding look - tho the groom has nothing of Frank. I tried to find a picture of Mia in her wedding dress but didn't have much luck. I did find a very handy guide to Las Vegas weddings (more than 120,000 marriage licenses issued annually)  and a list of couples who opted for Vegas Vows: * Elvis and Priscilla Presley * Jane Fonda and Roger Vadim * Bruce Willis and Demi Moore
* Cindy Crawford and Richard Gere * Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward * Britney Spears and Jason Alexander * Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow * Ann-Margaret and Roger Smith
* Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie

Also of interest for those who can't have too much bling is The Remember Ring which contaings a microchip programmed to warm up 45 degrees the day before your wedding anniversary so you don't forget the roses and dinner reservations. "The idea is to remind people they started wearing it for an important reason" says inventor Cleve Oines.

I'm drawn to the wedding features in the Sunday papers. This week it was radio guy Mike Carlton marrying journalist gal Morag Ramsay. Morag wore a cream silk creation which featured a bustle - a details which leaves no room for the "does my bum look big in this?" question. Of special interest were some of the presents, ownership of a koala at Taronga Zoo and drumming and piano lessons.

I encountered an even quirkier wedding present in an autobiography I'm reading by - Let me Finish by Robert Angell. Angell is best known as a sports writer but my interest in him is connected to his wonderful articles in the New Yorker and his relationship to Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little author E.B White. In one of my favourite chapters "We Are Fam-Ilee" he talks about an impressive list of slightly eccentric and downright wacko relatives. His Aunt Elsie managed to straddle both and when Angell's brother Joe was getting married she presented the couple with a nice copy of "The Life of Nietzsche" .There's also a lovely comparison of marriage and martinis: "You can no more keep a martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there. The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth and one of the shortest".

Meanwhile on the Thursday night Sex and the City reruns Princess Charlotte is spinning out just a little. When she reminds Miranda that this is after all her week, Miranda reminds her "It's your day, you get a day". And when the gal pals don't take her gown shopping seriously enough and get distracted by purses in the bridal magazines, Charlotte snaps:  "No purses! There's no time for purses! This is gown-specific!" to have Miranda ask "What's your theme again? A Nazi wedding?" (I can relate entirely, my own wedding Super 8 looks a little like Triumph of the Will.)  Finally about to head down the aisle Charlotte is having serious doubts about marrying someone with impotency issues but as Carrie says "Charlotte was 34, single and standing in a $14,000 dress - she got married".

Our local lighthouse at Point Perpindicular is the lighthouse of the month in the latest bulletin from Lighthouses of Australia Inc.  It is a beautiful lighthouse and the view over Jervis Bay is fantastic. It's a great spot for weddings and, amazingly given these times of user pays, the Navy who administer the land don't charge for use of the site. You do have to pick your dates though as the Navy close the site for bombing practice on occasion and missiles can be a real distraction to a ceremony! Sadly, even though there are three lighthouse keepers cottages on site you can't stay there. I stayed in the cottages at Cape Willoughby   on Kangaroo Island a few years back and it was fantastic except for the ghost and the sign out the back that said "Warning Snakes Inhabit This Reserve". 

I'm attempting to read Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse at the moment. I'm halfway through and beginning to suspect that they are never actually going to get to the lighthouse which for a lighthouse spotter is a little disappointing.

Two very nice musical moments over the long weekend. A Sydney wedding where the couple's seven year old son was playing DJ and quite unrehearsed or planned, chose a CD to start the ceremony  I'd never heard the song before but it's one to look up  - Eric Bibb "A Ship Called Love " (you can hear a snippet by clicking the link). Not sure of the exact lyrics but it went something like "There's a ship called love getting read to sail .....so get aboard .....and loves the right stuff to get us over".  It was SUCH an amazing choice and the kind of timing wedding planners would die for. Thanks Zuhri for such an amazing moment.

The other marriage-music-moment was a little rockier. Driving back from a ceremony in Bowral and Wave FM was doing a Rocktober countdown of the top 562 (not sure why it was 562) rock songs, well round about number 262 (beating out Ted Mulry's Jump in My Car ) was Roxy Music's "Let's Stick Together", I turned the radio right up and it was great cruising through Kangaroo Valley singing along.  If you've forgotten  how it goes:

"And now the marriage vow is very sacred
The man has put us together now
You ought to make it stick together
Come on, come on and stick together
You know we made a vow to leave one another never

But now you never miss your water till your well runs dry
Come on now baby give our love a try
Let's stick together, c'mon c'mon let's stick together
You know we made a vow to leave one another never"

I remember seeing the video clip on Countdown, who can forget Ferry's then-fiance Jerry Hall strutting her considerable stuff in a tiger suit complete with tail. 

I often don't get to see many movies until they get to video. This is due mainly to two things. I spend a lot of time in the country where the local movie theatre is 35ks away and not really into anything arty. (Also not into Michael Moore as they refused to screen Fahrenheit 9/11 on patriotic grounds) and also I have a four year old so although I have seen Cars twice I never got around to seeing Tim Burton's Corpse Bride on the big screen (the local theatre shs also liced up it's big screen to make five very small poky screens).

Anyway I got to see it on DVD last night. It's right up there with Father of the Bride as one of my all time favourite wedding movies. It's macabre, it's funny and it's also very beautiful. A very quick synopsis goes like this: Victor who cannot get his wedding vows right is wandering through a forest practising them, he places the wedding ring on a tree root that bears an eerie resemblance to a human hand (it is actually an eerie human hand) and after getting the vows right comes face to slightly mouldering face with Emily the Corpse Bride. Emily was mysteriously killed on her wedding day and has been waiting for her groom ever since. It certainly sounds macabre and you may wonder where the funny and beautiful come in - the last scene where Emily leaves the church and is transformed into hundreds of butterflies is really stunning and while a butterfly release has become a feature of weddings I don't think we've seen one like this before!

Another great find - a site devoted to celebrity wedding vows with the added excitement of being able to rate them. Some are a little sad, I think Julia and Lyle's ceremony may have lasted longer than their weddings and not all parties seem to have taken the "Til death to us" part seriously, except perhaps Kurt and Courtney. The site can be found here: http://www.myweddingvows.com/celebrity-wedding-vows

My country-girl persona drives around in a ute listening to Macca all over on ABC. It's right up there with Saturday mornings "Compost Heap" program for sheer entertainment. This week Macca featured poet Timoshenko Aslanides' I'll love you til it rains in Marble Bar. The poem has been set to music by Sons of the Soil and is also a contender for the Saturday Night Country poll for best country song of the year. You can help the sons beat out competition such as Cherry Bombs-It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass All Day Long or Catherine Britt's The Upside Of Being Down by logging into http://www.abc.net.au/snc/hottest/vote.htm and casting your vote.

Eternity (In marriage)
Whether or not a priest or celebrant's involved,
the couple that truly weds still marries itself;
everyone else is there for fashion, the forms-of-words,
consumption of cake and far too much champagne.
So when he and she were married in The Pilbara,
they sat themselves in the best they had near water.
She threw a stone. "Until it floats, I'm true to you."
He showed her the wedding ring he'd made himself.
"I'll love you till Port Hedland tides no longer race
across the harbour flats to stranded ships;
till Mulga, Paper-Bark and River Red Gum lose
their Pallid Cuckoos, Doves and Diamond Finches;
until those winds that daily roar across The Bight
cease their search for windmills in Esperance."
"Those things described", she said, "conceivably could happen."
He looked her in the eye and touched her cheek.
"I'll love you till it rains in Marble Bar", he said.
She smiled and kissed him, this time as his wife.

High Society was the Sunday midday movie last week. Perfect rainy afternoon viewing and what about those frocks? Grace's wedding dress was a dream, gossamer white embroidered organdy over a taffeta underdress. I tried to find a picture of it to show you but sadly haven't been able to locate one. Helen Rose designed both the High Society dress and the one she wore when she married for "real". The Monaco dress was "a creamy confection of antique Valenciennes lace and peau de soie"  which hugged her curves above the waist, while boldly billowing below. Demurely high-necked and long-sleeved, a suggestion of transparency was created by lace over a bodice of silk net which was then lined with silk gauze. Grace also wore a Juliet cap decorated with seed pearls and a veil made from some ninety yards of tulle.The frock has starred in it's own exhibition at Philadelphia  Museum of Art's "Fit for a Princess: Grace Kelly's Wedding Dress". The dress cost $7,266.68 (1956 prices) in materials, not factoring in the six weeks of labor but Grace received it gratis from MGM, where Rose and Kelly were both under contract. Helen Rose also designed the Liz Taylor's Father of the Bride gown as well as two of her real-life wedding dresses. (Liz was a great income source for the wedding industry).  

I can't wait til the next one of my friends announces their engagement. I found two fantastic retro cards today, new in the pack so I won't need liquid paper. Feast your eyes:

A bride-very-soon-to-be emailed me these vows,  taken from traditional Indian wedding vows, this week. They are sooo beautiful, full of sunshine and honey and wonderful sweet promises and cows of course!

The first step is to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living. Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers. Let us take the third step, to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use. Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust. Let us take the fifth step, so that we be blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children. Let us take the sixth step, for self-restraint and longevity. Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock."

We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us; may the morning be honey-sweet for us; may the earth be honey-sweet for us and the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us; may the sun be all honey for us; may the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our unions be permanently settled.

I'll admit to being a bit of a sad nanna and reading the TV guide to plan my week although I try to resist the urge to circle items in texta so I don't miss them. A few must sees this week had me reaching for the felt tip though! On Thursday "Dr Phil talks to brides-to-be who are so out of control their loved ones call them "Bridezillas". They're a new breed of engaged women who terrorise their fiances, bridal parties and family members with their outrageous demands". Can't wait! Kath and Kim meanwhile (ABC 10.00) are serving punch from a plastic bin and throwing a tarp over the Hills Hoist for a marquee. A lot like Nicole and Keith's do... or maybe not.

One of my big treats is a subscription to the New Yorker and it's the highlight of my week when Albert - the postie and I are on first name terms - drops it off.  I think I may have found a way to make it pay for itself as this week it's a wedding special. One of the must reads in this issue is an article on wedding planners. There's a great "doh!" quote: "I think our taste has gotten better since the eighties" from Julie Erlichman a wedding planner who features a picture of her deceased poodle on her website. "If you need your dog to be in your wedding call me" Julie says. So if you do need your pooch as part of your posse you can find Julie's number - and Romeo's picture - at www.juliaandfriends.com  You can also read the entire article by clicking here or you can pop round and borrow mine.

I'm really interested in readings and what they can add to or convey during a ceremony. I'm always scanning magazines or anthologies for poems I like and particularly on the look out for work by Australian authors. In the recent Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants there was this rather alarmingly Aussie poem by Ruth Van Gramberg:

An Australian Wedding Blessing

May each step you take in the future be filled with gladness and song

With the sound of the Lyrebird and Kooka to lift and guide you along

May gum leaves tenderly whisper, as life's highway in excitement you stride

Taking time to rest by a campfire, with a swag and your mate by your side

When you travel the east with apostles, just hum the Matilda song

Then roadmap your desired future, whilst the ocean and waves roll along.

Where the roos and koalas roam freely, in a land that's so vast and so wide

With love in your souls and sweet music, let passion and dreams be your guide

May prayer be your answer in hardship and blessings surround you so grand

With a warm welcome waiting at doorway when friends feel the need of a hand

May your journey be freshened with dewdrops each winter thru until spring

With smiles and handshakes and laughter that only true friendships can bring.

Don't worry if troubles surround you just rest by the Murray serene

With freshness of spirit,  your face to the cross, you'll be sharing the Aussie dream.

An rather startling range of advice can be found in Barbara Cartland's Book of Etiquette and I guess, since Barbara was a woman who knew a thing or two about keeping love alive, it's not to be shrugged off.  Published in 1972 in may as well have been 1772 for the advice it contains on managing servants and tipping the cook when you visit  country estate's but then I guess Barbabra mixed in different circles from me!!

Here is some her advice to wives:

Appearance: Women may marry men for their money, character, or social position. Men marry women for their looks.All women know this and make the very best of their appearance in order to attract men.Too many forget that it's easy to catch a husband and hard to keep one.A man pays all his life for the pretty face which has lured him up the aisle.A clever wife will never for one moment let him suspect he has got a bad bargain.There is nothing improper in being naked and it can be very attractive. A woman can also be entrancing and desirable half-dressed.Modern women are cleaner and healthier than they have ever been. It is hardly necessary to point out that the reason for cleanliness is a consideration for others besides a regard for one's health. But it may be worth bearing in mind that water is still the best source of hygienic cleansing of the skin. Beauty products should be an addition, not a replacement.

and "if by an unfortunate occurrence the bridegroom is late, the bride should wait quietly and composedly. She should not talk and she should in no way appear agititated". (I wonder if a valium is permissible??)

Your mailbox is rarely empty when you're a celebrant. Todays special delivery was from Windhorse , a Tibetan Buddhist Emporium and Bookshop located in Tilba. Tilba is a really pretty little south coast town somewhere between Bateman's Bay and Merimbula. I would have said the cheese factory was the big attraction but now you can stop off and stock up on Himalayan music CDs, Goji juice and hand painted thangkas as well.

The Buddhist traditional wedding vows are very traditional and go: 

Bridegroom:"Towards my wife I undertake to love and respect her, be kind and considerate, be faithful, delegate domestic management, provide gifts to please her."

The bride:"Towards my husband I undertake to perform my household duties efficiently, be hospitable to my in-laws and friends of my husband, be faithful, protect and invest our earnings, discharge my responsibilities lovingly and conscientiously."

Buddhanet has lots more information on the rituals involved if you're interested in a Buddhist wedding.

There's been a lot of controversy in the Shoalhaven area recently over plans to build a Buddhist temple here. There were even fears that it might be a national security risk as the proposed site was near HMAS Albatross!

Just back from four days at Surfers Paradise. Not much of a paradise for me as my son had the flu and I spent most of the time inside the hotel. Luckily there was a very nice view so I at least go to see the sea. I imagine Surfers is like a mini Vegas. Wacky weddings certainly seem popular. My favourite was the Chapel by the Sea., a little Chapel perched on a houseboat arrangement which could be towed out - with your 47 guests -  to sea. The bride had the option of arriving by jet ski! Not sure what that would do to your hairdo. Surfers is still a very popular location for Japanese weddings, there was always a very nervous Japanese bride in the foyer in full regalia. When I was in Japan a few years ago I fell in love with the Japanese wedding kiminos which are so ornate and beautiful, I wanted to bring one home to hang on the wall but I had to make to with this picture of a Kyoto wedding shop window.  

To the local St Vincent De Paul (http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintv01.htm) shop for a bit of browsing.It's true that you never know what you will find. There were three boxes of unopened wedding invitations which conjured up the sad image of some jilted/abandoned/fed up bride-nolonger-to be dropping them off in the recycling bin. I didn't check to see if there was an as new wedding dress there too but I did find a copy of "Traditional Weddings". Of course I had to have it for my resouce library,  there does seem to be a lot of archaic information in there, strict guidelines on what time of day you can wear a big dres and veil, when the wedding bells should ring, instructions not to linger too long on changing into your "going away" outfit and the order of the receiving line. I was especially interested in the guides for who pays for what and the etiquette in exchanging unwanted gifts.

Six Feet Under wedding episode where Nate and Brenda finally get married. A real catalogue of disasters, a psychotic stepfather, hysterical mother offering underwear advice, a seagull on the wedding cake, not to mention the ghost of Nate's first wife making an appearance. 

The vows were nice though. Brenda accepted Nate with all his weaknesses and strengths and offered herself to him with all her weaknesses and strengths (no small ask given Brenda's weaknesses!) and promised "from this day forward I will be there when you need help and turn to you when I need help".

Nate was a little more traditional, "I vow to trust, honour and cherish you, to support your hopes, thoughts and dreams".

I didn't quite approve of the celebrant as she looked a little like a deranged munchkin and seemed to be wearing a purple cabbage for a hat. I think they dug her up from the same casting agency where they get the frumpy librarians in the big black glasses. As I used to be a librarian it was doubly insulting.

What's next for the married couple with all their weaknesses and strengths? Check out: http://www.hbo.com/sixfeetunder/episode/season5/episode52.shtml